7 Reasons Why Every Black Woman Should Indulge in Self Care
One thing I always prided myself on growing up was my ability to learn from other people’s mistakes. I just knew I’d never hit rock bottom because my powers of observation would save me from making the same mistakes as everyone else. Then I hit my sophomore year of college where my mental health plummeted as quickly as my GPA did. I realized this was my rock bottom.
To add more stress to my situation I felt like I had to hide this from my mother. I was filled with shame. I’m my mother’s only daughter, a middle child just like her, and I watched her work hard going to college to get her degrees growing up. I watched her go from RN to Respiratory Therapist and beyond -- and here I was, broke, failing a class for the first time with just barely acceptable grades in my other courses. And would you guess what my major was? Psychology.
How could a young woman that comes from such a strong woman and hardworking father and is literally studying why the brain does what it does be dealing with mental health issues?
Well, she very quickly learned that reading about mental health only informs you about it. It isn’t action, it isn’t a reflection, it isn’t personal development. But self-care is all of those things.
What is self-care?
Self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve your health and wellbeing. The keyword is practice. It takes time! Self-care isn't a miracle cure unless you're taking action regularly in which case it feels like the worst kept secret. Everyone knows of it but very few are implementing self-care strategies in their routines.
This lack of self-care shows up in a variety of ways. You could experience physical symptoms (headaches, fatigue, body aches, common colds), mental symptoms (feeling down, anxious, stressed, inability to fall asleep), and spiritual symptoms (feeling disconnected and out of touch with yourself). But in time, and sometimes with some help self-care will help you understand how to alleviate these problems instead of just coping with the symptoms.
Here are 7 Reasons Why You Should Indulge in Self-Care:
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You've pushed it off for far too long
Black women are known to thrive, our ability to push forward by any means necessary has been glamourized and we are strong…but only because we have to be and that’s not magic, that’s survival. The real magic is in refilling your own cup. It's in cultivating a routine that fills you to the brim with joy, understanding, and peace.
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You haven't been prioritizing your needs
It can be very easy to ignore your own needs while life is throwing its curveballs at us but this isn't sustainable for very long. You can utilize self-care during any point in your day to identify how you're feeling in the present. This way, you can plan and take action so that the problem doesn't weigh you down for the remainder of the day. You might realize you need to slow down or that you need to be more intentional with your "me time."
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It decreases the risk of health problems
Stress by itself can be harmless. Your body takes you through its flight-or-fight mode and then your nervous system should bring you back down to normalcy. However, extended periods of stress can lead to a variety of mental and physical symptoms or even chronic illnesses such as anxiety, high blood pressure, heart problems, and depression. Identifying stressful situations and helping our body prepare for the unavoidable ones is key to avoiding the health risks associated with high volumes and repeated exposure to stressful situations.
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You don't recognize your growth anymore
A major signal that it's time for self-care is that life-changing things are happening to you and you're not giving yourself the recognition you deserve. No matter how insignificant you think your accomplishments are, I think you're amazing and you're doing the damn thing, Sis! Maybe you feel like your skill still needs improvement before you can feel "official". I say "you're wrong." Step into the title you believe was meant for you and don't let fear convince you that you're not good enough. Period.
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You want to take care of your mental health
Yes!! The time is now! Learn what your mental health needs are. Maybe this is a brand new concept for you and you realize you need a mental health coach or you simply fell off and need to restart your routine. Regardless, trust your process, understand what's right for you, and seek professional help when needed. This journey doesn't have to happen alone! You can also try talking to friends and family too, you may be surprised to hear that you're not the only one going through it.
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You miss having fun
The world is always going to keep turning. You can decide to stop and smell the roses or you can let the beauty of life pass you by every day. But here's the thing: YOU get to choose and no one else can make that choice for you. If you feel bored with life, spice it up. Try something new, take a route you've never taken before, stop by the park on your way home from work, go rollerskating, paint, go to the beach, eat from a local restaurant you've never visited, get dressed up then go wherever your outfit says you belong that day. The possibilities are endless!
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You're feeling off-balance
You might be ready for some good ole fashioned spiritual alignment. There are numerous ways to do this: you can meditate at home, visit a church, see a reiki practitioner, do yoga, work with crystals, or go for a walk in nature. Whichever way calls to you don't be afraid to try others. You may prefer one method for managing stress and another for recharging or you may find that sticking to one is best for you. Trust your intuition, understanding what's right for you is part of the journey.
How do you do it?
Think of self-care like exercise -- some people like being in the gym for 2 hours a day (not I), while others prefer cardio in the mornings and hiking on the weekends. Both are great ways to accomplish their personal goals but their routines look different. In the same way, one person’s self-care journey may look like spending time reading and doing meditation regularly while another person's journey may look completely different. You can start by writing a list of your hobbies and taking an hour out of your week to turn your phone off and explore those hobbies. Finding what feels right takes time and trial and error but eventually, you’ll find yourself waking up with some pep in your step.